i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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