I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Holy shit dude........stairs
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
