Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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