Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
