my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
