i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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