There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Did you pee in the oven last night??
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
