dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize