I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
