the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
