yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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