Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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