ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she told me i tasted like america
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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