hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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