i don't like sucking hair
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize