She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I look better un-naked...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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