I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
