that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
its not stalking. its research.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
