great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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