in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
