its not stalking. its research.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
