In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
