oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And then my night got REAL pukey
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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