the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
