I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
this boner is exhausting
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
