I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize