kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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