You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
