D3 body, D1 cock
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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