I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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