what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
