I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
