the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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