I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
