Your tits are I can't wait for
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
