I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
