someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
