lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
