is wine microwaveable?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
