His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize