i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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