not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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