I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
