I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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