i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
