dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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