I think im going to throw up on grandma
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
