some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
sarcasm needs its own font
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
