I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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