At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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