Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
