I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
