WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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