Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
