Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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