so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
