Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
