escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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