If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
