I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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