No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
