I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's blow job season.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
