I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
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