i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize